What this quiz measures
The question often arrives after a specific event, but the answer usually depends on a longer pattern. One missed call is different from months of unreliability. One difficult conversation is different from a rule that your concerns are too inconvenient to discuss. These questions cannot judge his behaviour because they only have your answers. They examine the part you can observe from the inside: how you respond to uncertainty, closeness, disagreement, warmth, obligation, and the possibility of starting again.
Try separating reasons to stay from reasons not to leave. Wanting the relationship is a reason to stay. Fear of the empty weekend is a reason not to leave. Shared plans, mutual care, honest repair, and pleasure in each other's company belong in the first column. Sunk time, embarrassment, imagined future change, or the wish to avoid one painful talk belong in the second. Both columns are human, but they carry different information. A clear decision does not require you to feel only one thing.
Then compare words with repeated action. When a problem is named, what changes during the next month? When either person makes a mistake, can it be admitted without turning the whole conversation into a trial? Do plans become more reliable, or do explanations become more polished? Your result may show why you give another chance quickly or protect yourself early. It cannot tell you whether his next promise will hold. Use the score to examine your decision rule, and use the relationship's history to examine the relationship.
The six things it looks at
The six measured parts cover unease under uncertainty, expectation of good faith, willingness to compromise, positive warmth, concern for another person, and readiness for a new experience. No one part decides the relationship.
Anxiety
How readily the alarm goes off, often before there is a specific thing to point at.
Most people score between 7 and 17 out of 20.
- Worry about things.
- Fear for the worst.
- Am afraid of many things.
- Get stressed out easily.
Trust
Whether you assume people mean well before you have evidence either way.
Most people score between 8 and 18 out of 20.
- Trust others.
- Believe that others have good intentions.
- Trust what people say.
- Distrust people.
Cooperation
How much you would rather compromise than fight, and what it takes to make you fight.
Most people score between 10 and 20 out of 20.
- Love a good fight.
- Yell at people.
- Insult people.
- Get back at others.
Cheerfulness
How readily good feeling shows up — the joy end of extraversion, not politeness.
Most people score between 10 and 19 out of 20.
- Radiate joy.
- Have a lot of fun.
- Love life.
- Look at the bright side of life.
Altruism
How rewarding you find helping, and how much other people's welfare shapes your day.
Most people score between 13 and 20 out of 20.
- Am concerned about others.
- Love to help others.
- Am indifferent to the feelings of others.
- Take no time for others.
Adventurousness
Preference for the unfamiliar over the routine — new places, new food, new methods.
Most people score between 9 and 17 out of 20.
- Prefer variety to routine.
- Prefer to stick with things that I know.
- Dislike changes.
- Am attached to conventional ways.
What this is built on
Defaults runs on the IPIP-NEO-120, a public-domain 120-item Big Five inventory developed by Dr John A. Johnson. Each short quiz uses 24 of its actual items, word for word, and scores them against Johnson's published adult norm tables rather than rescaled against your own answers. The same 24 count toward the full 120.
The questions come from a public-domain measure of broad personality tendencies. They offer a structured self-description, not a rating of a partner or a forecast of a relationship.
- Johnson, J. A. (2014). Measuring thirty facets of the Five Factor Model with a 120-item public-domain inventory. Journal of Research in Personality, 51, 78-89. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2014.05.003
- International Personality Item Pool. https://ipip.ori.org/
Common questions
Why does this quiz focus on me instead of him?
Because your answers can only describe you. A quiz should not assign motives or traits to someone who is not taking it. The relationship history remains the evidence about his behaviour. Your result can show how your own expectations and habits affect the way you read that history.
What if I love him and still want to leave?
Those feelings can coexist. Love describes attachment and care; it does not settle whether the relationship works in daily life. Ask what would need to be consistently different for you to choose the relationship again. Then compare that requirement with actions already taken, not only with hopes or apologies.
Should I decide immediately after a fight?
Unless immediate safety requires action, give the strongest emotion time to settle and write down the facts while they are fresh. Review the wider pattern when your body is calmer. Delay should have a purpose and a date, though. Endless waiting can become a decision that nobody names.
How can I use the result in a conversation?
Describe one pattern and one request without presenting the score as proof. For example, explain what happens when plans change and state what reliable notice would look like. A clear request gives the other person something concrete to answer. Their response adds more evidence than a debate about labels.